Thoughts on our Second Adoption

We've been waiting for a second adoption to happen in our family for a year now. I've thought a lot about the reasons we do this waiting, hoping, and expecting.

The first adoption was filled with anticipation of becoming parents.

This time we long for a sibling for David. 

I watch him play by himself for the most part every day, and I wish so badly that he would have a playmate his own age to enjoy those hours of play with him.

Sure, we have lots of activities every week, and we arrange play dates for him on a regular basis.

And he's never shy about asking Sam and I to play with him.

But it's different to play with an adult than it is to play with another child.

Even if that adult loves you completely, it is not the same as the ups and downs, happy and sad, wins and losses of learning to play with a comrade who happens to be another kid.

Particularly if that pal is an at-home, built-in friend inside your family.

Someone to grow up with, someone to grow close to.

With all of our hearts, we are praying for the miracle in our family that David will have a sibling. The sooner the better.

I've also thought about how David's identity will change a little when his sibling joins our family.

Right now the ratio of adults to kid is 2:1.

In some ways, that's great. In others, not so great.

Being the only kid can sometimes feel a little exclusive. Like everyone in the house is allowed to do grown up things except David. Everyone in the house is allowed free reign of certain rooms and closets except David.

I'm a firm believer of a few things. The marriage is the most important relationship in the family, and I am a parent first, friend second to my child. Inherent in these principles are boundaries; quite often Sam and I are on one side of the boundary and David is on the other.

Would it be easier for David to respect boundaries if he saw that they applied to another family member, too? That none of the boundaries are personal, but are intended for a collective group of "children."

David will find a lot of delight when his collective group is larger than one.
Come to think of it, we all will.