Getting to Know Us--Our Beginning

In 2002, Sam and I met when we worked together at lovely Aspen Grove in Provo, Utah. We scooped ice cream in the gift shop together, and developed a wonderful friendship through the summer months. At the end of the summer, we each went our different ways. Occasionally we would check in with each other over the next three years, but we didn't begin falling in love until 2005.


At the end of 2005, we were married in the Salt Lake LDS temple. It was a wonderful day!

We lived in Pocatello, Idaho as newlyweds--while Sam finished a Masters of Business Administration degree at Idaho State University. While Sam was at school, Carmin worked at a child abuse prevention center in Idaho Falls, ID. She had already completed a Bachelor's degree in Child Development, so was happy to work in her field while Sam continued schooling.

Upon completion of Sam's schooling, we packed up and moved to Alaska in 2007. Wow! What a beautiful place! We love the grandeur beauty this state has to offer.

In 2007, we underwent some testing and procedures in hopes of being able to have biological children. When those avenues didn't bless us with children, we began learning about adoption to build our family. In 2008, we began filling out paperwork, and in January, 2009 we were blessed with a little boy. For more on that experience, click here.

Now we feel tremendously blessed to have witnessed the miracles of adoption in our family! We know that Heavenly Father creates families, and we know that he has created ours. We look forward to our next adoption experience as our family grows.

Getting to Know Us--Our Extended Family

Sam grew up as the oldest of four siblings--he has 1 sister and two brothers. His Dad was in the Navy, so they moved up and down the East coast in his early years. On his 13th birthday, Sam's family moved to Ohio, where they still live today.

On Sam's side, we have two adorable nieces, a Nana and a Pappy, and some very fun aunts and uncles. 

 After David was sealed to us with Nana and Pappy, Aunt Meredith, Uncle Aaron and cousins.

 Cousins playing together on the beach.

Our little guy found a real pal in Uncle Hanson!

 

Carmin is the third oldest of ten children and grew up in Peoria, Arizona; her family moved to Mapleton, Utah right before her senior year of high school.

 Carmin with some of her sisters at a retreat in sunny St. George, Utah.

On Carmin's side, we have a Grammy Joyce and a Grampa Chuck, twenty-seven nieces and nephews, and lots of aunts and uncles.

 A happy little boy with his Grammy and Grampa.

Family reunion fun.

While we live in Alaska, we make a huge effort to visit each of our families at least once a year. We talk on the phone and skype with our extended family to stay close to them. Someday we hope to live closer to our extended family, so our children can enjoy their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents on a regular basis.

FAQ--Why do we choose to have an open adoption?

Many people have asked us about our choice to do an open adoption. The idea of an open adoption is relatively new, and we are glad that we have been able to approach adoption with the understanding that an open adoption brings. Some of the key key things unique to an open adoption are:

1--Our children will know from the very beginning that they are adopted and who his/her birth mother is. We will keep a relationship with the birth mother that will allow us to communicate with her, send her pictures, and she will be aware of how our family is growing and progressing.
2--This openness will allow us to teach our children about Heavenly Father's plan for him. We believe that God creates families. And he has created ours by sending each to our family through a birth mother. We hope that this knowledge will help our children to learn more about all the people that love them, as well as a knowledge that heaven knows each of our names and helped us to build our family in this unique way.
3--The openness has also allowed us to get to know our birth mother. We spoke to her on a weekly basis since she made the decision to place her baby with us until the birth, then we have maintained an open communication (mainly through email and skype) since David's birth. All of this communication has helped us to have a basis for our love for her. We would have still felt love for any birth mother that blessed our family with a child, but coming to know her heart has made that love sweeter.
4--Through the openness of this adoption, we have also been able to meet many people that love our birth mother and the life she has brought into the world. We spent a lot of time with her family during the first week of David's life. We have also been able to meet friends from her home town, and they have showered David with rememberances of more people that love him. We truly feel blessed to have all of these people interested in the well-being of our son.
6--Last, but certainly not least, our open adoption has allowed us to develop a level of trust that has surprised us. We came to trust our birth mother that she was going to carry through with the decision to place her baby in our family. We also came to trust her that she was making a huge effort to give our baby a healthy start to life in the way she took care of herself during the pregnancy. And now she is trusting us that we will keep her in touch with our family and share with her the joy David brings to our life.

Book and Media Review--For the Love of a Child: The Journey of Adoption

 

This book is available through Deseret book, and offers a wonderful perspective on the feelings surrounding an LDS adoption. It emphasizes the struggle of decision birth parents are subjected to as they choose the best path for their unborn baby. I loved this book! It was the means for me to cement in my heart the tremendous sacrifice a birth mother/father makes in deciding to place the well-being of their child above their own desires.

Here is the publisher's description:

The journey of adoption is never easy, but it is one of love and growth that can be powerfully redemptive. Adoption transforms the pain felt by all involved as they experience the ways God works in the lives of so many people through one tiny child. For those struggling with the decision to adopt, support an adoption, or place a child for adoption, this book is a must read. With examples of real experiences from a professional perspective as well as personal stories from people whose lives have been changed by adoption, it is filled with useful information and, more important, great hope.

I have no affiliation with Deseret Book, I am just pointing you in that direction for your information.

Celebrate!--Forever Day

On August 15, 2009 our family went to the LDS temple in Washington, DC and David was sealed to us.

For more on what this event means, click here.

It was a very special day for our family, one that is permanently etched in our hearts and our memories.

We celebrate this day each year. 

This year we'll be celebrating with a ring cake--to represent the eternal nature of our family--and pictures of the temple where each of us was sealed to each other. 

FAQ--What is the purpose of a temple sealing in an LDS adoption?

When a couple gets married, they first have to apply for a legal license to create the family union. In the United States, most religious ceremonies double as the legal ceremony for the marriage. This is not the case everywhere in the world--some countries make the distinction between the two events. For instance, in  Romania a couple first is married in a court house--which satisfies the legal requirements for the marriage to be valid. Most often the courthouse ceremony is simple and includes only the bride and groom, or maybe a few close family members attend as witnesses. After the legal ceremony, the couple will join with a much larger wedding party, and more extensive family and friends to have a church wedding. It is their way of taking the wedding before God and seeking His blessing on the new family union.

Adoption has a similar process. First, we work to get the adoption legally approved--and of course this occurs in court. Once the child is legally joined to the family, then a couple who are members in good standing of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints takes their family to one of the temples, where a sacred religious ceremony is performed to seal the family unit before God. This is a time when the family is blessed with the sweet promises that the Lord Jesus Christ spoke of in Matthew 18:18--"Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven . . ."  To put it in other words, this is where a family is promised that they can be together forever if they live worthy of God's promises. As with the legal proceedings in court, this religious ceremony is repeated for each new addition to the family.

A biological child that comes to a family is not subjected to legal acceptance; likewise, neither do they need to have the sealing performed in the temple as an adopted child does if their parents have already been married before God in the temple. In this case, both the legal and religious union before God happens at birth.

In all cases, the purpose of going before God in a sacred temple ceremony--first as a couple, then with adopted children as needed--is an effort to live the principle that keeps us going--and that is families can be together forever.