The Same and Different

From the very start of our second adoption process, I have commented that it feels like it will be a very different experience than our first. It just feels differently. I thought I'd highlight some of the things that are similar to David's adoption and some of the things that are--well, not the same.

The Same:

• We chose to go through the same agency, which is LDS Family Services. The office is located in Seattle, and they service Alaska as a satellite location.
• We try to imagine what it will be like--how much time will we have to prepare? Will we go down to a local hospital or fly across the country?  It's kind of like having an adventure waiting to happen any minute--so there's an element of excitement in it.
• We still see the process of adoption as a "marketing" approach for our family. In reality, we are trying to catch the eye of a birth mother, having little indication of what will be important to her. Our first birth mother, AP, told us that she originally took our profile home in a stack to consider because she liked the cape over my wedding dress. That reminds me that our family doesn't have to fit a mold--but the birth mother just needs to be led by the spirit.
• We still feel directed that this is how Heavenly Father wants us to build our family. And these feelings keep us praying for a miracle.

That was then--circa 2008, during our first adoption paperwork process--we were on the banks of the Kenai River.

Different:

• Perhaps most obviously, the length of our wait. Our first birth mother, AP, took our profile home from the agency 3 weeks after we were approved. She let us know 3 weeks later that she had chosen us. And David was born  eleven weeks after that.
• Having a child in our family makes for less aching. He fills our hearts and our time, so while we know with certainty that another child will increase our capacity to love, we don't hurt as much while we wait.
• Having a child in our family makes for more longing. We know better the blessing that awaits us through adoption, so we want it more deeply. And we see how much David wants a sibling, so we want it for him. The other day David asked me,  "Do you think Heavenly Father could send us a little kid to our family?" I asked him what he meant. "Well, I'm getting to be a big boy now, so we need someone else to be the kid in our family." David thinks about this a lot, and he often makes comments about it. Another incident was when I was in the dental chair, and the hygienist's hands were in my mouth. David proudly announced to her that we were going to have a baby in our family. With my tongue indisposed, he had a conversation with the kind lady for several minutes. Clearly she thought that I was pregnant. When I was finally able to jump in, I explained to her that we are always waiting for a new baby to come through adoption.
• Much less trepidation about an open adoption, and the relationship we will have with a birth mother. We were so blessed in our experience with David's birth mother. She is wonderful. We love her. She has given us so much confidence that we can again establish a good relationship with a future birth mother. We know that in many ways, the relationship will be unique, because no two experiences are the same. We feel blessed that our first experience has encouraged us along into our next adoption experience.

This is now--2012 awaiting our 2nd adoption--celebrating a birthday at Benihana.